I been writing for a total of fourteen years of my life, and I still think that i need a lot of work to do. I'm going to focus on increasing my diction, expanding my vocabulary to become more sophisticated. I have written a shorter version of the poem. And I just want some feed back on how i can improve and make things a lot better. Thanks

The title is: I Thought I'd Never Get Over You

I'm looking up at the sky, thinking about our memories--
And all the good times, and the bad; I remember...
When I really blew it hard to the core, beyond recover
After that I never saw you ever again.

Maybe months, a couple of years, I will forget about you.

Thank you. A thought from the past...

I thought you were my all -
my everything, it's true.
I thought I found the best in me
when I discovered you.
Submersed within sun's golden gleam,
I saw each ray shine through,
but as I reached the highest heights,
I shivered at the view.

@afdaef is clueless. "1984" is not "sci fi"; and there is sci fi poetry; in fact there are whole magazines devoted to sci fi poetry.

I doubt that there are any "nice" poems that are similar to the novel "1984," though. It's not a "nice" story. It's not supposed to be "nice."

You could look at "The Unknown Citizen" by W.H. Auden, though. It's somewhat on point.

The sun will rise again tomorrow
Regardless of our sorrow
For one who left too young,
And left a many song unsung

But we can hear him up above
When we listen to God's undying love
Who holds him close within His arms
And keeps him safe away from harm