Powered by Blogger.

Blog Archive

Friday, 17 April 2015

Arts & Humanities: Poetry: “Question: Should I change anything in this poem that I wrote for my girlfriend..And can I get some opinions about it (Im 14 and not the best at poems)?” plus 5 more

Arts & Humanities: Poetry: “Question: Should I change anything in this poem that I wrote for my girlfriend..And can I get some opinions about it (Im 14 and not the best at poems)?” plus 5 more


Question: Should I change anything in this poem that I wrote for my girlfriend..And can I get some opinions about it (Im 14 and not the best at poems)?

Posted: 17 Apr 2015 04:19 PM PDT

The look in your eyes when I first saw your face.
My heart sank and my love for you began to rise.
And as we travel the world,I'll try to keep up the pace.
And I'll always love you no matter your looks no matter your size.

Your the Sun in my day.
And the stars in my sky.
Hopefully you'll always stay.
Because it's gonna be hard saying good bye.

The way your hands fit in mine,
And the way our lips combine
Your Sweet personality,And sometimes your too kind

Your head on my chest
And your arms around me
To me that is the best
To you your future is me.

I may sound to optimistic.
But I want you in my life.
And the best day ever.
Is the day you become my Wife....

Question: What do you think of my first poem?

Posted: 17 Apr 2015 04:10 PM PDT

I haven't really got a title yet so any suggestions would be appreciated. Also its my first ever poem and its based around stress and pressure and how you should always be yourself. So staying true to my poem if you give me some honest feedback that would be great!

Stress, pressure
factors induced by societies oppressers,
breaking people one by one
until their drive is history and their goals long gone,
we are our own masters
with our own minds
not exam machines or labour gold mines,
as life is short and truly worth living
so the greatest gift is that of giving,
giving the freedom of choice
as everyone deserves the right to a voice,
don't try to conform
instead explore
what the world offers; now step out your door,
lets abolish our expectations
as stress only leads to limitations,
instead lets restore the world to what it used to be
so we are no-one's puppet and our own referee.

Question: What are some Eliezer Ben Nathan poems?

Posted: 17 Apr 2015 04:10 PM PDT

Report Abuse

Additional Details