what do you think of my poem?

Ight so this might seem odd but no one realizes how hard life is when everything becomes a tight space,
Suffocating in eternal darkness don't care if the key on the kite strikes me down it couldn't feel any worse,
When the moment hurts so bad to give a **** any longer never to be stronger,
Forever my candles can never light my way always in a struggle to even fight the demons,
Reasons on beliefs become desist assistin' to see a different reality make my mentality alive!,
When all your life your decieved from the dismembered pieces scattered in different demensions,
No sensations, no emotions, my eurotions destroy external beings,
When i'm goin' blind the light fades from my eyes seems like i'm close to dyin',
Defyin' laws of nature alot of ****** out there are traitors now you know where my masochism comes from,
Becomin' somethin' no one could see they flea when they realize sadism is a sin, the old english word for end is fin bend time into a never endin' sceme they seem so obligated with life,
Do people realize you live to die then fry dependin' who believes on the need to feel safe when you know your god is a frod but everyone nods like retards kneelin' to somethin' that won't vanquish their sins.

Thank you for your time.

My sweetest love, you've blessed me with your kiss!
My Confidante now whispers through night's air;
and, as He speaks, I bathe in knowing bliss.
So far away… yet, I can feel you near.

Tearful confusion settles into peace;
tormented heart sits curled up by the fire;
and, would I choose, I still could not resist
for I am being pulled from muck and mire-

These dry eyes can't believe they've caught Moon's beam!
To tell in truth, He needn't fret a sliver ;)
Could we deny–does it thus not seem
swift speed of moonbeam shan't surpass this river?

I oft have drifted to your loving arms~
'tis there where I succumb to all your charms.

Just need help on how they are similar
Link to Lady - http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/lady-lazarus

Link to Edge- http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178970

I need to write a love sonnet for a class. It has to be 14 lines and 10 syllables. Has to be about love. Can anyone help??

TEN POINTS TO ANYONE THAT HELPS OUT ☺

Update : i need a poem about the butterfly fast!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update 2: it has to be from a butterfly's perspective and i have to dramatize ...show more

what do you think of this poem?

For sake and sleep of terror
Dancing morbid shadows lye
Upon a Nile of withered dreams
Shade of night to cast before gray
Fading lights of a twisted minds
Reject an apple of heart
To crave the pulse of life
Stored above the mist of trees
Traveled within a coach of cobbled streets
To shine in the divine of holy songs
Seated upon a throne of glowing pits
Hidden behind the stage of light
Dammed smiles of forbidden beasts
Pull upon the shade of a ravens dream
A dire image of a specter
Haunting thru a map of stolen seas
Deep and dark the angel sings
Powerful its love of chains
In anguish.. a soul of passion
To spurt and cut forever life away
Cheers of demons crowd the stage
A broken soul to escape
Clawing the heights of tattered beings
To crawl and crouch with failure to redeem
Reborn and broken
Awake! From such a sleepless dream