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Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Arts & Humanities: Poetry: “Question: A poem on food poisoning?” plus 4 more

Arts & Humanities: Poetry: “Question: A poem on food poisoning?” plus 4 more


Question: A poem on food poisoning?

Posted: 02 Aug 2016 01:21 PM PDT

Four in the morning,
the sounds of water dripping,
only for me to realise
that it's just my poor stomach whinging.

Sleep licks at me
just as I salivate for water,
which my body cannot even handle.

This must be what death feels like,
cold air blowing on to me,
my body faced down,
a corpse in a morgue.

Question: Would love to get feedback for this poem. Do you see things at should be adjusted or altered? Down the tracks?

Posted: 02 Aug 2016 03:03 AM PDT

I'd look for EWD and delete Extra Word Disorder...Filler Words. Not needed.

It need not rhyme, especially forced, but it should be more coherent. If metaphor is what you're trying to achieve, it needs polish.

Question: How to get my creativity flowing again??????????????????????????

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 11:15 PM PDT

Creativity is something that happens in the darkness of the night for me
or if I travel to. ''let's say, Jamaica maybe; ...that place would inspire me to write

Go out, look about, Go to NIAGARA FALLS and write about the feelings you have there lol

Question: There once was a boy named Perkin; who was always jerkin' his gurkin'; His mama said, "Perkin, stop jerkin' yer girkin. Yer gerkin...?

Posted: 01 Aug 2016 08:11 PM PDT

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